i miss you

i miss you.
we don't talk like we used to.
clear up our feelings like we used to.
chill like we used to.
we barely discuss the events going on in my life, too.
boo.
most of it's my fault.
i'll take all of the blame.
i've preoccupied myself with everything else.
while you've remained the same.
i regret the past few months.
i hang my head in shame.
i need you more than i thought i would at this point.
you always provided a listening ear.
you let me think freely and use my words to express how i felt.
still can't recall why i stopped using you in the first place.
you made everything right.
you straightened up my crookedness.
you let me invent words and use some old ones.
you let me cry on your pages and smile between your lines.
i'm sorry journal.
i used to write entries, poetry, short stories, epiphanies, dreams...
all in you.
you were never biased or critical.
just open and honest.
and when you kept what i said to yourself, it reminded me of a true friend.
something that's truly hard to find nowadays. you helped me find a creative outlet.
you helped me focus on me.
you made me better.
and i stopped talking to you.
but now, i think i'm back.

(c) ronetta cheryll