that ish cray.

alright! it's august 21, and so much has changed since the last time i wrote.

for starters, i am single. it was a steady progression of undoing between jesse and i, and while i can't say i was thrilled about it when it happened, i can honestly say that i am very happy where i am right now. i'm a lot less stressed. jesse and i are still friends, and i definitely feel the split was for the best.

i've been excelling more at work, but i'm still unsatisfied with working for the current managers i have. needless to say, my resume is active.

my dad and i haven't spoken in over a year. at first, i was clicking my heels. now i miss him.

i feel like things have really been turned upside down! i have been doing some of the things on my 52 in 52 list, but there is a HUGE part of me that feels this blog is somewhat outdated/irrelevant now. maybe i should just STOP blogging until i'm more stable, you know? like married, living where i'm going to be living, etc. at least the characters in the story wouldn't change, lol.

i've got a couple new friends, my goddaughter is still awesome (lots of updates there; she's going into 2nd grade), a new nephew (he's turning 7 in september, and he is amazing), my cousin got married (this is only the 3rd marriage of my first cousins, all of the older cousins are still NOT married)...just lots of updates and changes and lots of big steps forward.

i think i'm going to start another blog and leave this one the way it is...for archive purposes. :)

more later...



i finally feel like i can write now.
right now.

the past few months have been a damn doozy, to say the freaking least (lol). i haven't posted anything since january 13. i guess i could blame a lot of things for that, but instead, blanketed, i was just tired. i wasn't resting well, my knee felt like it wasn't improving, and things were just not right.

jesse and i celebrated 2 years on february 7. we broke up on march 16. the weeks leading up to the breakup weren't the best. our communication was suffering, we were both on different pages, it was best for us to stop. i didn't want us to end up hating each other, altogether, so we agreed on a break.

surprisingly, i'm feeling pretty awesome since then. i'm doing a lot more things just for me, as the mood strikes--whether it's taking a different route home, walking until my knee feels like it's going to fall off or taking a shot on my lunch break, lol. i have been enjoying my life and the freedom i have doing whatever i want, when the mood hits me. i just focus on me and making myself a better person. i don't have to worry about anyone else or focus on what they're doing/not doing. it's been pretty cool so far.

work has been...a mess. my managers really make me wonder if they're aliens or demon-possessed. just very...off...a lot. i should work for myself, permanently.

i've been doing some reflecting, more working out, more meditating, etc...and it's been great. i want to be a much better person, just for me. and that's where i start--finding things i want to change about myself, and actually working towards changing them.

it's been pretty good.


21. buy an awesome gift for one of my "sisters"

it's a couple of weeks after christmas at this point, but i did get keturah a pretty cool gift.

she's a huge target fan, and a huge scarf fan. so i got her this really pretty earth-toned paisley print scarf and a gift card to target. small, but thoughtful (and apparently i'm really modest, too).

i also got chelsea some pretty cool stuff as well. i mention this because she's my only biological sister.

i actually felt really super awesome by giving these gifts, so i want to do a giveaway!

here are the rules:

1) write an entry about an awesome gift you gave to a loved one.
2) comment back here and let me know so i can read your story.

then, i will do a drawing, and pick one awesome person to win the grand prize!

the winner will get a REALLY cool, small but thoughtful, gift from me (if you're willing to share your mailing address with me), FOR FREE!

deadline to give, write entry, and comment back to receive an entry into the giveaway: january 25, 12:00 AM EST (because that's where i am)

i think giving is awesome, and i want to give stuff to you, too. :)