the counter-productive pursuit

i found an old piece laying around and figured i'd post it. enjoy.

**

if i told you how i really feel
you would probably hate me
so i take pride in keeping my
feelings inside in order to save face.
yours, that is.

you look crazy.
telling me this and that
how much you dig him and
how fine he is
and how you're interested.
do you know i'm with him?
do you know we're happy together
and plan to be doing this thing forever?
i thank you for all the nice things you say
how he's just so nice and special
and just thoughts of him help you get through your day
how the mental picutre you have of him soothes you in every way
you should stop and pray...
...to God, that i don't laugh in your face.

yes, he is amazing.
yes, he is quite talented.
and yes, he is easy to love.
i know, because i fell in love with him
and it didn't take much time because of how
wonderful he is
but he is also
very taken.

i love to sit around and entertain
your delusions
we've been cool for a while now
but if your delusions go much further
it may be time for us to have a little sit down

we wanted to keep our relationship a secret
just because of niggas like you
because niggas are never happy
niggas never like to see others' dreams come true
we were meant for each other
and we are loving every minute of this ride
we've been in difficult relationships before
ones where we've tried and tried and tried...
to no avail.

we've been friends for such a long time
and it seemed almost too good to be true
finding someone right in front of your face
someone you get along with; someone who really understands you

you're not gonna come in the middle
and separate what we've worked hard to build
friendship, trust, and ultimately love
those are things i'm not willing to easily relinquish
it's funny to hear you talk about him
in such a way that would make it seem as though he weren't involved
it's a delight that someone else finds him
just as remarkable as i do.

you can say whatever you like
you can parade around and not even care
but i promise you if you take it a step further
i will be certain to make you aware.
he is the rib from which i was created
and he feels i am an extension of him
so he gives me the complete and total authority
to break you down on a whim

we will do what it takes to make this work
we have the basis down to a science
we're always praying and reading our words
together
so we can reinforce each others' strength

there's not much more i can say
i will continue to let you speak
i just had to write this letter to get this off my chest
although the contents may seem bleak

i'll even encourage you to approach him
although i know you don't have the balls for that
i know you don't deal with rejection well
and i'm just fine with that;
he's much too sweet to embarrass you anyway.

continue to entertain me with whatever tickles your fancy.
i'll always be a listening ear.
and you'll always be a story
for him and me to share.

(c) ronetta cheryll