am i wrong...again?

these are just some more of my random thoughts i decided i'd put to a poetic tone because it's more fun to read in that literary form. no topic, well, kinda... but no person(s) in particular... just writing what i'm sure every female goes through sometimes... even day to day. read, comment, repost, critique, whatever u feel is cool with me.
**
i mean, it's like..........
i think it could be the
right thing
and then you go and.................... ugh
are you kidding me?
are you misleading me?
are you loving me?
are you leaving me?
you don't know what you
do to me
up
down
around in circles
but i always return to the same...
spot.
frustrating as it sounds
it's like a guilty pleasure.
i know it's probably not good for me
but.......
i want it anyway.
and nobody is going to tell me
i can't have it.
remember when we were younger
and our parents always said, "you can do
anything you want to... be anything you
want to..."?
remember that?
the keyword is want...
and i can't figure out if you are
what i want.
it seems right
it looks right
it even feels right
but is it? and if i'm wrong...............
well, that's not a possibility
at this point.
it's all good when there's
longevity in distance
and technological communication
but it's a slap in the face
otherwise
are you diggin me?
or iggin me?
are you understanding me?
are you watching me?
should anybody ask for me tell them
i'll be right back
in a real short time
it's just that i lost my mind and
i gotta find it...........
are you the reason?
or is she?
why are you indecisive when
i've already made the decision
for you?
how does that work?
it's simple.
or at least, i thought it was.......
and then you go and do something
idiotic
almost like you didn't even
think
before you did it
and you missed out on
thinking about it
while you were doing it
and you probably gave it no
thought, whatsoever
after you did it.
but i digress...
all this
faithfulness
compassion
love
passion
kindness
perseverance
tolerance
patience....... for what?
you to look around
stupidly
like you have no
idea or clue
what day it is
and what you're doing.
that seems to be what you're
best
at doing.
what's so sad is that........................................ i'm the only one
who recognizes your full potential.............. because clearly; you don't.
i tried to be blind to your game
i shoulda left your side in the first place.
but.........here i am. showing
you, once again
that i can't just
quit
that easily. i don't just
give up that quickly.
if i stop
i'll be letting myself down.............but ironically, i'm not even really
doing anything...
i'm just being the same me i've been
for a while now.......i just don't like anyone else.
that's all.
and i think that's what probably
sucks the most.

(c) ronetta cheryll