this weekend was a doozy for my eyes. a doozy, okay? it was awful.
i seriously considered getting lasik eye surgery for the first time in my life.
now, i talk a good game when i'm irritated with something (read: lack of eye sight), but usually it fizzles out within one or two days.
this time *blank stare* no, i am really considering lasik.
how about i totally forgot i had to have my pupils dilated at my eye exam on saturday? now, the last time this happened was about 2 years ago and i felt like i had my eyes wide open but i was blind. very much so an oxymoronical situation, very much so unappreciated. i had to have my homie claire drive me home and had to be hand walked into my apartment. i almost fell twice--once out of her lift kit jeep, and we all know i am a klutz, and once into my doorway.
this time, chelsea had to pick me up from the optometrist. i love my sister, but she is a newbie driver. she was my only early morning option, and she is always biting at the chance to drive someone somewhere.
i've let her use my car before and i've rode in the car when she drives, but not being able to see properly puts an entirely different spin on the experience.
i'm sure she wanted to eject me from the car.
the drive from the eye doctor to my house is approximately 5-7 mins. apparently, that is long enough for me to have a heart attack, stroke, and panic attack. really ridiculous.
so it all started off with me being reassessed for contacts, just because i was on a trial basis with them for the past 2 weeks. i ordered 2 pairs of glasses and a box of contacts. my eyes get dry quickly and when they're tired of the contacts, i would still like sight.
then, the doctor puts these drops in my eyes and says, "follow me." i felt like i was being led to a white, window-less van. i could see nothing and he was walking too fast! i had to stop and hold onto the wall. it was then, i thought he's drugged me. those drops were to blind me and he's going to drag me off in a white, window-less van and have his way with me...
then miraculously, i was seated at a consultation desk.
so much for my auto-biography, right? *sigh*
but i digress.
my eyes feel worse and worse for about 30 mins, then the doctor drags me back into the exam room and makes me look all over the place and says "everything's fine."
*pause*
clearly it isn't sir, because i feel like a vampire. the lights were way too bright. it was like a case of a hangover + sleeping in a coffin for 5 days + migraine + agoraphobia.
after they took my money for my sight, i went outside and put these ridiculous sunglasses on my face. definitely looked like an old woman with cataracts. not a good look for a hot 25 year old.
when i was making my way to the exit door, chelsea pulled up to the entrance, as if she was going to give me valet service. but no! alas, she drove away from me, to the parking lot, parks, and proceeds to laugh at me. it was no discreet effort, let me tell you.
i feel around by way of dirt, ditch, and tree to get to my car, and when i open the door, she is still laughing. annoyed at this point, i flail my arms around for emphasis, which makes her laugh harder.
*sigh*
on the way home, there are stop signs, stop lights, yields, no turns on red, left turn only, speed traps, picture-taking lights...you name it, we encountered it. thankfully, she did everything legally, minus the fact that i almost died.
when your pupils are dilated everything is bright and blurry--2 things you do not need in your life when in a car. every other direction we took was accompanied by a stop! or a slow the hell down, chelsea; i can't see! it was awesome.
we got home and my armpits were soaked. i needed a drink, she needed a tissue from crying laughing.
and this is when i decided i would see about lasik eye surgery. i'm not doing that again!
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