i love the barter system. it gets me a lot of free things that i would, otherwise, have to purchase. i like money; i don't like to spend it all the time, especially when i can trade with someone for something.
i traded a hairstyle for having my car detailed. pretty freaking awesome, right? i'm a hustler.
i did my sister's hair last weekend. it took eleventy two hours to complete, because her head is slightly huge plus-sized, but it was worth it.
yesterday, since the weather was nicer than it has been in a few weeks, she cleaned my car! she vacuumed everything, wiped everything off, cleaned out the cup holders, and febreezed the seats (my request). i told her not to wash the outside of the car, because it's one of my favorite things to do.
i still want to be able to go to a professional detailer to have everything done: wash, hand wax, steam cleaning, polishing, etc., but this was really awesome in the meantime. it looks new inside; she did a really great job!
this weekend was also my mom's 54th birthday. she doesn't look one minute over 35, i promise. it was really fun celebrating with her. i took her to the mall to shop for a dress and accessories. we succeeded. she found a really nice dress for a really great price. i took her out to dinner and got her birthday dessert. she had a great time.
sunday, we went to a church we hadn't visited in a while, and it was nice. it was also nice to get out of church before dusk, so that was a plus. i may go back next sunday.
my weekend was pretty nice. how was yours?
i think everyone has an internal voice that says "i can't do this," but unfortunately, there are some women who employ the president obama tagline: yes we can!
but no.
you CAN'T:
date someone who is incarcerated.
you physically can't. come on, people. what, in your right mind would tell you that having a boyfriend in jail is okay? he's in JAIL. there is no dating. what, do you imagine you went to dinner by writing a letter that says you did? do you accept the collect call and talk about how you wish you were holding each other? that's not dating, that's insanity.
i guess i might be more lenient for those of you who met a man and began to date before he did the crime to do the time, then i guess you would get a point for loyalty. but no ma'am; you may not meet and decide to date someone while they are incarcerated. what, are the free men just not as accessible?
i know there are women who go to prisons to see what's shaking, but come on! unless the only free men on your dirt road are your cousins, there is nothing interesting going on at any prison, except a lot of my tax dollars at work. unless you're going to get those back from me, there is really no point in going there. at all.
take it from me, from experience. ronnie was in jail for a very, very very long time. i visited enough, but with all the stipulations in place, it can be very tiring and frustrating.
first, you drive for hours to the middle of nowhere, where the only thing in that area/town is the jail. no gas stations, no malls, just the jail. that's depressing. it's not like the jail is in a hotel courtyard or next to an amusement park. so where's the fun?
second, you get there and you have to be checked in, like you're also a criminal. just a free criminal. you get finger printed (why, i do not know), you get patted down, and you have to walk through a metal detector. you have to put all of your own belongings in a locker (so my things had to go to jail, too), you have to sign a waiver, and then you have to sit in a boring lobby and wait for your "beloved" to get ready.
*pause*
what is there to prepare? put on your house shoes and your oranges/grays/ stripes/whites and get to the visiting room! whenever i went to visit ronnie, i usually had to wait a solid 30 mins.
what on earth (!!!) did you have to prepare for 30 mins! were you so busy knowing that i was coming to visit that time slipped away? i have no freaking idea.
all i know is, from a very young age--because i had to go visit my own father--i was always confused as to why people chose incarcerated men over free ones. at least the free ones can go do stuff with you. the ones in jail sometimes look at you through a glass and talk to you on a wall phone. sometimes they give you one hug on sight, and one hug when time's up. i can't imagine subjecting myself to something like that.
not while there are millions of men just walking the earth, working, owning homes, and being productive. no no.
i remember seeing tons of young women, at the jails i visited for ronnie, there visiting a husband or boyfriend. and i felt really irritated with those women, because there are more fish in the sea. those men weren't even in the sea; they were in a fishbowl in someone's basement. how did you even find those fish?!
if jesse decided to go do something illegal and get arrested, arraigned, tried, indicted, and sentenced to jail, i can't really say what i would do right now. i love jesse a lot; but his choice to do the crime, got him the time. being in a relationship with someone who's incarcerated is also punishment for the innocent party.
if the sentence was weekends or 30 days, it's not so bad. i could probably deal with that. but 30 years? i am gonna go with a no! that is all of my child bearing years in one stint. all of my youth, all of my healthy, prime years! and i'm supposed to give that to someone who made a bad choice? so i have to be incarcerated, too?
probably not gonna ever happen. love you, jesse, and we can write, but you're gonna have to get over the fact that i'm moving on!
would you ever date someone who is incarcerated?
yes, i’m alive.
so i knocked this one off my 52 in 52 list yesterday, and i wasn't even trying to do so.
come to find out, there’s a lot going on in my lady parts. i have something called pcos, which is so much fun that it makes me sick sometimes.
more info (if you want to know): http://women.webmd.com/pcos-directory
pcos is an acronym for polycystic ovarian syndrome. my doctor figured this out, just by asking a few very good, very personal questions. i really like her. it was my first time going to her because i'm new to annapolis (for adulthood, anyway), and all of my doctors were in richmond. i'm definitely not driving there from annapolis.
i went to the doctor, originally, because my stomach hurt really bad. it wasn't farts or poops, it was like pain/discomfort. no nausea, no cramps...just this random stabbing sensation. it felt so good.
i stayed in bed mostly on wednesday. it felt pretty good. when i started getting ready for bed, i got a few more stabs (probably just for kicks). my mom asks, "are you pregnant?" and immediately i'm like "no. not even possible right now."
thursday i wake up and i'm in even more excruciating pain, so i call out of work, again. i hate calling out of work. the last time i called out was because this dumb lady used the shoulder as passing lane in rush hour traffic and ended up hitting my car. it was so fun that day. (rolls eyes)
my insurance is hmo (not homosexual; hmo), so in order to even go to the doctor, my insurance carrier makes me choose a primary care physician and only go to them first before going anywhere else. fine by me, as my copay is freaking sweet and i don't have to meet a deductible.
i get to the doctor and do some paperwork. i'm thinking the doctor's going to prescribe me something for acid reflux or tell me to buy some tums, right? that's what they do.
no. not so much.
so yeah, i got about 6 vials of blood taken for testing on just about everything from hormone levels to insulin levels to blood count. i even peed in a cup to test for pregnancy (negative) and so that they can do a urinalysis. my stomach is extremely sensitive and i really don’t know why at this point, other than the fact that it probably has something to do with pcos. i’m in a pretty good amount of pain, but i didn’t want to call out of work again, so here i am, at my demise work.
i won't lie, i'm slightly frustrated because i totally wasn't expecting the office visit i got, but at least i’m finally getting some solid answers and i'm headed in the right direction.
i have more stuff coming up later this month as far as testing. i have to get a pelvic and intra-uterine ultrasound, i have to get a physical including a women’s yearly exam (joy, deep down in my soul), and i even get to see an allergist. i’m so excited, i’m beaming.
so inadvertently, i got to talk to my doctor about fertility issues and ovulation. the doctor says it’s nothing to really be worried about at this point, but being on a birth control that gives me a cycle every month is going to help more, because my body needs to be re-programmed to do what it's supposed to do, monthly. like flush, and ovulate. i currently don’t have a cycle—which in my opinion, is awesome. it's just not so awesome for child-bearing purposes, and since i actually want a kid or two, i definitely need to bite the bullet and get hip to having a monthly cycle.
the doctor wants to see if i have cysts on my ovaries, because the build up of not having a cycle can cause endometriosis. also, pcos can cause pre-diabetes and diabetes, because the body has trouble responding to the insulin that is produced, which can result in high blood sugar levels.
the worst part is it's not common in my family. clearly my mother can have kids with no problem. she had me and my sister. she's always had a regular cycle. my grandmother had 5 kids, always had a regular cycle. nobody has this except me, in the entire world. which is why there is already so much literature on it on reputable websites.
they were waiting for me.
i hope you all felt the sarcasm. i tried to make it as tangible as possible.so yes, the past 2 days have been amazing. like a mini-vacation. i'm looking forward to learning more about this syndrome, but if there's anyone out there who has dealt with this, please contact me with things that have worked for you to get everything running better, and even support. i really need it.
xx,
ronetta
